Trusted Beverage Identity Gateway HTTP 418 Ready

Enterprise Teapot Verification

TeaCaptcha protects premium steeping infrastructure from mugs, kettles, coffee sympathizers, and other unverified vessels.

  • RFC-inspired denial workflows
  • Audit-grade spout scoring
  • Tribunal-ready rejection packets
Current Risk Rating
Unverified Vessel

Applicants with bean-forward intent will be denied without prejudice and with style.

Verification Workflow

Awaiting applicant

Retry 0

Please complete the following checks to establish legitimate teapothood. The system is objective, scientific, and deeply suspicious of you.

Average decision time 4 ceremonial days
Trusted by 9,412 anxious teapots

Live Audit Feed

Trust & Steeping Signals

Monitoring
Spout Confidence Pending
Lid Integrity Pending
Pour Compliance Pending
Brew Intent Pending
Teapotworthiness Index 18%
Audit Log

    Community Rejections

    Hall of Famously Denied Vessels

    Cousin of a kettle 418 times denied
    Emotionally cappuccino 312 tribunal strikes
    Handle with mug energy 99.8% suspicious

    Compliance Seals

    Serious-Looking Nonsense

    ISO-418
    SteamSafe
    RFC-ish
    BeanGuard